i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
