their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
