well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
