please come you make the beer taste better
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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