I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize