Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
