I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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