New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think i have herpe
just one?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize