Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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