We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
