Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Screwed.edu
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
