I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
