my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
