Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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