Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
