any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
