just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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