Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
