Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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