I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
