But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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