If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
