He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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