For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
