we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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