What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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