Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
