i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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