I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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