Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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