Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
