Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
