She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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