I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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