Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
