i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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