i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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