let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
