I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
