Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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