She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
