Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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