I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
