I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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