Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
