and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
