Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Congratulations! We have a period
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
