was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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