First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
