just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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