Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
