my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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