Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
