Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize