Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
