i think my mom watched the whole time
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
