He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You took a bar mat shot.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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