Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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