Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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